Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
