He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
