And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
