So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
