i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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