I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
