Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
