i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
