New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
