I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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