you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
