I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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