I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
