They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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