Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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