I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
