I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
