i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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