My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
