Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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