yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
