remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
