So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
