I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
