living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
