"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Best friends brother. Beat that.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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