and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
