no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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