I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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