Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
