That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
