3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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