I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just tell him i said nine months
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
