Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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