I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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