forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
