if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
