I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
