Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
