At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
