Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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