quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
