weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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