I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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