Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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