Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
well you can't waste a boner
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
