remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
