woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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