And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
