You're my little dorito
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
