whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
