Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
