Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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