census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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